'The Man' got you down? Looking for a fresh, new way to rage against the machine? In the market for some garlic to take care of the governmental vampires breathing down your neck? Try our new exercise in mass reverse e-psychology! With this hip new formula, we simply silence ourselves, turning the tables of censorship on the censors themselves! A free speech fast is sure to liberate the people from online tyranny!
Before we get too ahead of ourselves, let's take a quick look at how the World English Dictionary defines the "internet":
"internet
- n
(sometimes with a capital) the internet Also known as: the Net
the single worldwide computer network that interconnects other computer
networks, on which end-user services, such as World Wide
Web sites or
data archives, are located, enabling data and other information to be
exchanged"
Now, I may be missing some marbles or perhaps I've failed to read between some lines, but upon further inspection, it doesn't seem to me that the internet - not to mention social networking (keyword: social) - was necessarily intended to facilitate privacy. In fact, suddenly it appears to have been erected for quite a contrary purpose: to bring the unknown to light; to shorten the distance between the brain and infinite knowledge; to provide access to the previously inaccessible; to insulate global human connection.
So, wait. Does this mean that having a Facebook account isn't an online equivalent to the possession of a Masonic membership card after all? Does this mean that the picture that my loyal friend uploaded of me, passed out, pissed-pants drunk, with Sharpie-drawn penises and emasculating curses expertly sketched on my face is something that can be viewed at any old time by potential employers and government agents? Well, shit. Suddenly I wonder if the job market's lack of buoyancy has more to do with the murkiness of the pool of half-baked prospective workers than I thought...
If I may make a suggestion to those seeking a more discrete outlet, a diary may be a suitable subject for your innermost private musings, and chances are, it won't get bored or unfriend you if it disagrees with your misguided views. On the other hand, for those who wish to continue supplying the internet with relentless balderdash without becoming cannon fodder for the e-enemy, my advice is to consider your audience - its reach is wider and deeper than you probably realize. Censor yourself from time to time. That token 4/20 post, contrary to popular belief, is not obligatory. While your photographic evidence of a Parisian vacation may be worth cataloging, last night's game of beer pong probably is not.
Like it or not, your Facebook profile (as well as your Twitter, Instagram, etc.) is little more than an interactive advertisement for You, Inc. - and if an advertisement should prove effective, shouldn't it at least reflect an image fit for the watchful, cyclopic eye of the public?
